June 1, 1997
Summer Time Blues
How to Simulate Skiing!
So, to all of you who like to hang out at the Apres Ski Lounge, you may have noticed that up here in the northern hemisphere the warm snap has hit and we have that season the most avid skiers dread…summer. We sit back and dream about the snow that is just around that distant corner. I myself, have just gotten back after a lengthy bike ride, which I find helps my legs stay in shape for the next ski season.
Now, for those of you down under, like New Zealand and Australia, who are just in the midst of your ski season, we envy you! Nevertheless, for those less fortunate, here are some thoughts on the: TOP TEN WAYS TO SIMULATE SKIING, starting with number ten!
| 10 | Visit your local butcher and pay him $30.00 to sit in the walk-in freezer for half an hour. Afterwards, burn two 50 dollar bills to warm up. |
| 9 | Go to the nearest hockey rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying 2 pairs of skis, an accessory bag and poles, pretending that you are looking for your car. |
| 8 | For ski boot simulation at home, put a pebble in your street shoes and tighten a C-clamp around your toes. |
| 7 | Buy a pair of gloves and immediately throw one away. |
| 6 | Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $7.50 for a hamburger and be sure to wait in the longest line. |
| 5 | Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face. |
| 4 | Drive slowly for 5 hours - anywhere, but for best results do it during a heavy rainstorm and be sure you are following an 18 wheeler. |
| 3 | Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face, you will think that you're skiing in front of a snowmaker. |
| 2 | Dress up in as many clothes as you can, then proceed to take them all off because you have to go to the bathroom. |
| 1 | Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday, until ski season starts up again and you will be right into the swing of thing! |
In closing, for those of you in the Northern Hemisphere, make the best of summer, as the snow is just around the corner. For those of you that presently have the pleasure of a ton of snow or more…enjoy. We who have none are with you in our dreams. And remember--soon the ski boot will be on the other foot!
Cheers! Michael (The Ski Bum)
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The Snow Zone
This is a site that is dedicated to downhill skiers. It offers a variety of interesting items from ski lessons to great links to ski locations and ski equipment.
This is a must see web site, you will not be disappointed if you are a true Powder Hound and just love the white stuff!
Canadian Snow Pros - Ski & Snowboard
About the C.S.I.A.
The Canadian Ski Instructors' Alliance (CSIA), founded in 1938, is an Association of more than 18,000 professional skiers located across Canada. The level of excellence of our instructors and ski school directors is internationally renowned. The CSIA is a member of the International Ski Instructors Association and participates every four years at Interski, the international congress of ski instructors. The CSIA ensures a nationwide ski teaching standard while promoting and teaching the importance of ski safety. It is committed to the development of innovative and effective skiing techniques and teaching methods. Our mandate is to promote professionalism and the profession of ski teaching.
About C.A.S.I.
Formed in 1994, CASI's mandate is to train and certify Snowboard Instructors and Coaches and to ensure that a national standard of safe and efficient snowboard instruction is maintained. CASI has a membership of well over 3,000 instructors now and is growing rapidly as the industry expands.
About the C.S.C.F.
The mission of the CSCF is to help produce the best ski racers in the world for Canada. This is accomplished through programs and services that develop and promote alpine coaching excellence and help develop individual potential.
The CSCF was incorporated in 1976 and presently has approximately 5,800 members across Canada.
This web site is loaded with information on how to become a ski or snowboard instructor, a nuber of good resourses, jpb opportunities and much much more have a peak you will not be disappointed.
Hyperski
This is another web site for those who love the snow...it has articles for both the two plankers and all the grungers that have only mastered the single plank!
Good links and they also have an archive of past articles submitted by skiers. Hyperski also offers a variety of forums that can be accessed to participate or start a discussion/debate on ski related issues.
Alpine World Cup 1997
The place with all the stats for all the 1997 Alpine World Cup competitors. They have a list of events, schedules, standings and much much more ...for those of you that are keeping track of the favourite alpine skier this is the place to check out their standings!
Ski Central
A great starting point if you need to research anything that relates to skiing. They have really good search tools and lots and lots of links to ski related areas.
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Skiing-Apres Ski Lounge
